James Haskell

He played 77 times for England; toured with the British & Irish Lions; won a European Cup and Premiership titles with Wasps; and played rugby in Japan, New Zealand and France. 

My mum lied about my age when I was five years old and signed me up for Maidenhead rugby club. Like everyone, I had no clue what was going on.

I went with my dad to watch England v New Zealand in 1991. That was probably the first game I remember watching. It was the World Cup and I remember seeing him sat there, smoking a cigar, drinking beer and watching Rob Andrew get a drop-goal [England lost 12-18].

My childhood was an oblivious melange of activity, sport, bike riding, pretending to play army. I don’t think I had any concept of any kind of current affairs in sport, such as supporting a rugby club. The first time I actually understood what was going on was when I got to Wellington aged thirteen and all these kids were wearing shirts and supporting teams. I’d never really supported a sports team but from then on, I started to support Wasps. 

The bit I loved most about rugby was the Chomps. We always had them after training and that was when they were actually 10p. I didn’t want to be a rugby player, I wanted to drive a digger or join the SAS. Or I wanted to be in the movies. 

Kids are so aware now. They know what’s going on, they know about concepts such as playing professional rugby, whereas I think back then it was more about going outside, playing army in camo, building camps, paintballing, Laser Quest, Jonah Lomu video games... I played rugby, I loved it, but I never thought, ‘wow, I want to do this for a job’.

My mum just wanted to get me out of the house. That’s why she wanted me to play, and dad found that he could drink at weekends in rugby clubs – when pubs were closed – so he was happy. They just wanted me to do activities to tire me out because I was a bit of a nightmare kid energy-wise.

I was shocking at football. Really shocking. You know everybody says they had a trial at a football club and they could have made it? Well, the only trial I ever had was for basically being the worst fucking footballer ever and was definitely found guilty.

I played in the Daily Mail Cup at Twickenham. We won [with Wellington] and it was then that I thought, ‘wow, what a stadium’. The sights, the smells, I wanted to do this again. I didn’t take my winning shirt off for quite a long time, and I think that was when there was that spark – I was fifteen.

My whole cycle of being successful was out of failure. I didn't get into England in the under-16s, I went down to the final trial but didn't perform and I was like, ‘right, well, I'm going to show people’ and that was what it was all about. I think you could have replaced rugby with anything, and it was just me trying to be the best at whatever it was. 

I learned early on if you train hard and sacrifice, you will be successful. That just happened to be my path. And you know what? If you're in a good environment, and you work really hard at it, put those 10,000 hours in, and you just drill stuff. If you've got that mindset, you can pretty much do anything I think, because I wouldn't say I’m a naturally talented rugby player, but I had that.

I made my England debut at 21 [against Wales]. I was also starting to play Premiership games and getting man of the match awards and, you know, being really good. And that kind of changed things for me, it made me think, ‘well, you know this could actually be a job for me’. 

Laurence Dallaglio helped me fall in love with rugby. Being a young fan and seeing him lead Wasps with his physicality and always kind of being on edge, and then seeing him play for the Lions in ‘97 and all those other bits and pieces. To then play for England and meet him, and train alongside him. I think getting access to players like Josh Lewsey and Joe Worsley too. Joe had a profound impact on me in terms of my ability to tackle, he gave up a lot of time to help me.

Just watching Richie McCaw made me a better player. I learned more and became a better player watching him play. Watching hours and hours of footage of him playing, changed me in terms of the way I played.

Eddie Jones, Michael Cheika and Jamie Joseph were all good for me. Shaun Edwards was excellent too; Warren Gatland played a part as well. And even John Wells, some of the attention to detail stuff he did was good. He played a role in making me more abrasive. Although not sure how good he was on the mental side, as he was pretty straight talking! 

I tried to back out of moving to France [to join Stade Francais in 2009]. I got hammered so much, so much criticism and all the bullshit bravado that, ‘nobody ever left Wasps and was successful’. But it was the right decision, I played some of my best rugby, I played for England and I had the time of my life. Unfortunately, it coincided with a period of England not doing very well.

That move taught me to ignore what everyone says. I made an informed decision, it was a good thing, based on the right reasons. Wasps were taking the piss, trying to pay me nothing and trying to bully me into doing it, and got all these old players and they just weren't any good. And that coincided with the fact that they were nearly relegated... but yeah, it was the right decision in the end. 

The Wasps side at the beginning was probably the best team I’d played in. I didn’t get to play for the Barbarians, but [at Highlanders] I did get to play with the likes of Aaron Smith, Tamati Ellison, Julian Savea, Ardie Savea and Ben Smith, and in Japan I played with Ma’a Nonu, but for out-and-out consistency that Wasps team was the best.

Eoin Reddan was massively important to me in my first season. He backed me. He just looked for me to pass to, and when a nine wants to pass to you and has that confidence, it makes a massive difference. Fraser Waters was pretty amazing too, and Joe Worsley and Simon Shaw were remarkable, and Richard Birkett was a brilliant player. 

I was always happy in my rugby career apart from probably the last two years at Wasps. And Northampton was a really good place and I only have fond memories of it, but my mental state – in regards to where my body was – was pretty sad. It was real hard work in terms of how I wanted to perform and play. 

Winning that grand slam has to be my greatest rugby moment. To actually get over the line having lost three previous ones was special. You had a lot of journalists talking shit about me not being a seven, and fans who know nothing about anything, talking about not being a seven...

And it also came off the back of me coming in with Eddie and thinking I was never going to play again, but ending up starring in that Six Nations and just battering people. Then there were two of the best games I've ever played against Australia. I think it was also about being treated like an adult [by Eddie] and you know, getting that [Grand Slam] over the line, getting the ‘six and a half’ shirts out and just fucking taking the piss too. 

In one year with Stade Francais we had three different coaches. And the one in the middle, I’m not going to name him, was just a fucking idiot. He didn't speak any English and he basically decided that he thought it was funny to take the piss out of me. That’s the closest I've ever been to chinning a coach. Once he screamed in my face and I called my agent up and I said, ‘if he talks to me like that one more time, I'm going to smash his head in front of everybody, and then I'm going to leave, so you need to be ready to get me out of this contract, cuz I'm going to do it’. And he's like, ‘no, no, don't, don't’. Subsequently, I’ve seen him and he’s all been matey, but he got fired [that season], because he was crap and then Michael Cheika came in. 

I never thought about quitting rugby, I’m never a quitter. I could never understand why people retired from international rugby and carried on playing in the Premiership. I was like, ‘if I can't do any of it, I'll stop’. It’s not the best thing, but I played until I literally couldn't have done it anymore. I had thought I was going to retire when I wanted to and I wish I could have kept going for a few more years because I was going to go and do a bit more around the world. But no, I had to stop.

Japan is the best place I’ve been for rugby. What a mega place. New Zealand and Paris too, but Japan is such an interesting cultural thing as well. I think I had my first experience of racism there, when I got told, two or three times, by drunk Japanese men to ‘go home foreigner’ and shit like that. I lived next to the training ground and I was basically adopted by Tamati Ellison and his wife, I’d go around to their house and have breakfast with the kids.  

I do miss rugby sometimes. It was a simpler life. I was paid good money to do what I love to stay in shape, with all medical care and everything around it, to play with the lads and laugh too. If I was going back and play it now, if I'd have a different mindset about it, and I'd be a lot more chilled about the whole thing. I’d still work very hard, I like that dedication, I miss the coach-pupil relationship and getting better at stuff. 

My life is still fun. But you have to fight a lot more to do stuff. Whereas being a rugby player and being a sports man, it's easy. And that was my identity. If you asked me now what my identity is I’d struggle to completely nail it. But, you know, I still have a lot of fun doing what I do.

I regret that I didn't enjoy the [good] moments more. I was always looking to go onto the next thing, which works as a recipe to success, but I could have done better. I wish I'd savoured it a bit more. I wish I'd cared less about what people thought of me and I wish I backed myself more. I know that's a bit of a paradox with me, I know people think, ‘surely, you rate yourself higher than anyone?’, but I never did. I was very comfortable to stand up and talk in front of thousands of people, but I wasn't so confident in my own ability. And I should have backed myself more.

I laughed every day in my rugby career. The best thing about rugby is going through a bit of turmoil, hard work, and then sitting down and laughing. People say, you know, if you laugh five or six times a day you might live longer, but I was laughing a hundred times a day, every day. And I miss that, you know, being around those guys all the time.

I’ll be upset if the best thing I've done in my life was to play for England. I've got a lot more goals like that and I don't want to be that old bloke in a bar going, ‘oh, remember me? I used to do that’. When the question then would be, ‘well, what the fuck have you been doing the rest of your life?’. So that's very important to me. I can 100 per cent see myself having nothing to do with it. And when I have kids, they're not going to associate me with being a rugby player, they're going to associate with other things. Hopefully good things.